I don’t think I will ever stop being fascinated by how fast time just slips by when I’m not paying attention. We have reached the last day of the year again.
In retrospect, 2018 was indeed a year of personal development.
This year threatened to tear my family apart on many occasions. Throughout the year, I have felt punished and penalised for the bad decisions one person made. I, born the youngest and unashamedly doted on the most since I was a child, ended up stepping up in these tight situations that forced me to fill shoes too big. Every one of these situations compromised familial ties and I am still working on mending these relationships. It will be a long-drawn process but my faith remains unshaken.
During the many unsteady months, God knows how often I’ve experienced a petulant loss of the head. I’ve desperately tried to find someone/something to blame for the constantly tumultuous periods. Those times really heightened my anxiety and it has become something I’m learning to deal with.
In better news, 2018 was also the year I built new friendships and strengthened old friendships.
When I left my job in June, I earned myself a mentor so giving and selfless in her time and advice to me. My former-colleagues-turned-friends became an ever bright source of console and comfort, people I turn to in both good and not-so-good times. That workplace empowered me to take on portfolios I never imagined myself doing and I did well, if I may say so. Above the career skills I got to hone, I met people who accepted me for who I am and never forgot to encourage me to be myself.
On the same note, after two years of “job insecurity”, I finally scored a permanent position — and this is, in large, thanks to the exposure I got through my contract stint. I’ve written for publications, maintained social media accounts, designed and copywritten collarerals but here I am now in a brand new field known as strategic comms. Just a gentle self-reminder that while I am still struggling with the new job scope, I am undeniably grateful for the opportunity.
Going beyond the job scope, I’d like to remember my struggles fitting into the new environment. I guess this comes with age, really. I tried to bring with me my free spirit to the new workplace but I surprised myself when I found myself struggling to fit in. (Also, this concept of fitting in had become so foreign to me that I forgot I belong to a community.) Five months later, I am in a better place.
This year, I also made a conscious effort to keep in touch with people who matter. I’ve been a homebody for a long time now, often contented with my home-work-home routine and dissociating completely after work, so it takes a whole lot of me to actually meet people. But I met people this year — not many, just the ones who matter, and that’s good enough.
Finally, it has been another year with Sheltywee — the doggo I am blessed to love but probably will never deserve. We’ve made frequent emergency trips to the vet this year and every time we do, I seriously die a little inside. To think that the day will come where I will have to say goodbye to this precious soul is unimaginable. But every day we have with this furry four-legged is one worth living and worth pulling through. (Thank you, Shelty, for teaching me to love and receive love.)
2018 will not be missed but will be remembered as the year I bled dry but got up every single time.
See you never, 2018. And hello, 2019! You’re looking good already.
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