Hello, 2022.
Traditionally, this post would have been published on the last day of the year (as a reflection of some sorts) or the first day of the new year (to set out some new goals). But I had spent the last 2 days surrounded by good people and would not have it any other day.
But here we are – second day into the new year and back to work when Monday comes around again. Sometimes, it feels like a lot has changed yet nothing has really changed at all.
All things considered, 2021 was not the best year but it was a good year. I felt like I had truly stepped into the world of adulting. This came in the form of looking after my family, including doggo, navigating the corporate world, and getting my act together for the most part.
Summing up 2021: Full-time adult, part-time child
There is so much subliminal messaging out there that tells us we have to be at a certain point in our life by the time we reach a certain age. And growing up in a society constantly reminded me I had to earn $X, be married, have kids, have my own place by 30, being gainfully employed at 28 years old just didn't seem to cut it. Did I not spend many hours assailed by the thought that I wasn't doing good enough? I did.
So I started taking it upon myself to fill in bigger shoes, take on heavier responsibilities. I wasn't obligated to. (And sometimes I think being the youngest in the family also grants me immunity to some – not all – responsibilities. Or at least someone else would have to take it on first before my turn comes around.) Still, I take pride in it. I mean, I'm not proud of letting societal norms dictate how I ought to live my life. But I am slowly and surely becoming more everyday.
Fortunately, spending everyday in a household with a 16-month-old toddler allows me to be a child in my own way. I wish #BabyAriaYeo knew how much of an unfailing antidote she is to adult preoccupation. Because of her, I have had to lower down at her eye level and learn to marvel at the same things that fascinate her.
In Drea's words, 2021 was a year of deepening our friendship and I think this was a case for many of the relationships I have.
I have spent more than in recent months with my family. I am comforted that we can now speak about Papa and Shelty without feeling it is such a taboo. If anything, my family is really my driving force. Of course, we have not outgrown our immaturity and we still try to kill one another from time to time. But our conversations have shifted, deepened and we are now discussing a lot more about ourselves, our lives.
My brother bought his own place a few blocks from us, and he will be taking over the flat in March. We will spend some weeks researching on the best deals in town, budgeting how much he'd need to renovate and furnish his humble abode, and helping in every other way we can.
Since getting our own bicycles, the three of us have gone on multiple short adventures and I am hoping we get to do more this year. Hopefully more often with my mom and #BabyAriaYeo. In hindsight, I used to tell Shelty I'd attach his wagon to my bicycle (back when I didn't have one) and take him places. But he's no longer around for that to happen. What was I waiting for though? I don't know.
I am also thankful for my friends who have weathered through the highs and lows. Drea who has been a constant since we graduated and plunged into the corporate world. My second family from PA who has been a strong support pillar. My colleagues who have gracefully embraced my shortcomings and helped me without judgment or complaint. It is a long list to enumerate but in short, I am thankful for everyone of you.
There were too many times in 2021 when I felt diminutive and discredited but those were also the same times that forced me to become more deft. It is true that you win some and lose some in life. About time I got used to that, no?
I am, though, looking ahead to 2022. My brother's new flat, my aunts are flying in; I am excited for what the new year has in store for me and us. This year, however, I shall aim be more imperturbable and lead a more austere lifestyle; make more time for reading and writing and working on improving myself; balancing time with everyone who matters.
No more words needed. 2022, here I come!
Comments