It was a late afternoon on a Thursday, and I was patiently waiting for my dog to finish with his acupuncture session. I secretly hope this helps manage his arthritis pain better, but I may never find out.  And that is okay. I completed two reads this month — Ten Things My Father Never Taught Me by Cyril Wong, and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Two very disparate genres but both equally eye-opening. I had started reading these two books sometime last year. I never completed them because I eventually chose to compromise reading, to make way for seemingly more important matters. Alas, I found my way back to the books — and I absolutely love it. December has been a very magical month so far. I am enjoying this festive season way more than I did last year (and probably the year before too). 6 December 2019 This month began with a long overdue reunion with my badminton girls. It had been two years since I met these ladies!?  Honestly, it didn’t even feel like that much time had pas...

The most painful goodbyes are those that are never said, or never explained. I am still going to struggle with words for a while, but I think I am finally ready. Just this morning, we saw my Aunt off to the airport. After two and a half weeks, she will return to her family in Canada. We’ve done this many times before, but the goodbyes never get easier. I am cognisant of the fact that goodbyes are particularly hard for me. I have reached a point where I am convinced that goodbyes are never forever — just like my time in this world. I am not the most puritanical person but I want to believe in afterlife. Only then will I eventually, reunite with all the people who left before me, the people I never got to say a proper goodbye to.  The year has been a confusing one so far. After 18 years, April will now officially reign as the saddest month for many years ahead. It will begin with mourning the lost of my paternal grandma. Seven months later but t he wake remains pretty much fresh in ...

I don’t think I will ever stop being fascinated by how fast time just slips by when I’m not paying attention. We have reached the last day of the year again . In retrospect, 2018 was indeed a year of personal development. This year threatened to tear my family apart on many occasions. Throughout the year, I have felt punished and penalised for the bad decisions one person made. I, born the youngest and unashamedly doted on the most since I was a child, ended up stepping up in these tight situations that forced me to fill shoes too big. Every one of these situations compromised familial ties and I am still working on mending these relationships. It will be a long-drawn process but my faith remains unshaken.  During the many unsteady months, God knows how often I’ve experienced a petulant loss of the head. I’ve desperately tried to find someone/something to blame for the constantly tumultuous periods. Those times really heightened my anxiety and it has become something I’m learning t...

An unintentional break. 2018 has truly been a challenging year, and an even harder one for any content creation. Each time I'm inspired to update this space, the drive disappears as soon as I come face-to-face with this blank page. But I'm hoping it'll be different today. At the moment, there are many thoughts rushing through my mind but the one word that sums it all up is realisations. I remember the first day of work at my previous workplace with much clarity. We were in the midst of preparing for a high-point event and I was not spared the hustle from the get-go. There was no such thing as "getting used to the pace". It was busy from the start and that lasted for 19 months. It was 19 months of rewarding, meaningful experience that I look back at with pride and gratitude. In that short amount of time, I learned to organise and execute events, interact with residents offline and online, design and copywrite posters, manage social media accounts, and so ...

As I watched him lay there with a neck brace moaning in pain from multiple rib fractures, all I could do was cry. It was an uncontrollable sob governed by pure emotions of shock, fear, and ultimately despodence. My mind was blank, incapable of thought. Less than an hour ago, my sister walked into my room and said, " Ma, don't get a shock. " By then, I had jumped wide awake. " Your son got involved in a car accident. " My heart sank like all the other times it did when we were rudely awakened at 530AM in the morning. It seemed like the most appropriate hour for misfortune to happen - my aunt's passing, my grandpa's admittance. That morning felt all too familiar but the only words I was capable of " Never mind, let's get changed first. " ~~~~~~~~~~ The last two weeks have been nothing short of tumultuous, belligerent even. Hard as I try, I found myself breaking down one too many times. Sleep was rare and far between and whatever ...

It's been a while. I try to come back here when I've good news to share and remember but it's mostly unpleasant experiences to document that keep bringing me back. I'd like to look back at this space one day and realise how much I've grown as an individual trying to stay afloat in this world. There used to be a certain flow to words that made it easier to express my thoughts and feelings but the longer I spend away from this platform, the more apparent it becomes that I'm slowly but surely losing touch with the way I used to write. It's going to take some time before I find that familiarity but what hasn't changed is the way writing comforts me in lengths that no human communication can. The past couple of weeks have been a tough battle at work and at home. Matters at home are easily resolved because I've reached a point where I've stepped up and become the man of the household whereas matters at work are on an entirely different level. I believe...

I am my own superwoman. It's Friday. I took the afternoon off because I am slowly but surely crumbling under everything that is coming down hard on me. And I hate it. I was looking at Shelty fall asleep earlier today and inevitably thought: " If only life was as easy as his. " I know he's a happy dog but here I am trying to inundate myself with positive vibes. Most days, I'm copacetic. I have yet to reach a point where I'm desperately looking to blame someone/something for the situation I'm been forced into. I'm not convinced I am culpable for these circumstances but I do wish for this trying period to pass by quicker, quietly. After nursing a flu for two whole weeks, I am re-settling into my workout routine. My immune system took a harsh hit and it's going to take a while to recover the strength I painstakingly built. I am, surprisingly, okay with that. I know I'll get there someday. Having spent the first three weeks of Janu...