Good day, every one!
This weather calls for bun-up hair!
Beginning the post with a #selfie I took before I left the house early this afternoon just because I decided to try a different style today. I decked myself in comfy clothes since I was going to spend the day with my baby cousins. ;-)
Gonna asteric (*) some terms I'll be using in the rest of my post so read till the end to find out what they mean.
The Indian blood in me is part of a relatively small group of Indian dialect known as Malayali, originating from the Indian state of Kerela (which is where my Grandfather is from). And because we're considered a small group in Singapore, terms we use to address our family members are quite unfamiliar to others.
There was a time I didn't embrace the Indian blood in me because Indians were the minority and people often made fun of the Tamil language. Whenever I said I'm half-Indian, I was immediately associated with the Tamils and hence became a subject to mockery and teasing. I hated it but it's not like I couldn't escape my fate.
Over time, I learned to accept who I am because, well, I'm unique like that. And because time spent with the Indian side of my family is always so much fun and laughter.
As with every other family, my family had our own share of politics and drama. Nothing major but many times I find myself questioning the basis of all the misunderstandings that surfaced. In fact, I reached a point where I no longer trust anything but since all of this conflict came from the past (where I was non-existent), it won't affect me in any way.
So today I went over to Mamen* Sanjay's house to spend time with Small Amuma*, Aunty Ashah and my baby cousins. :')
I spent a good hour hearing Small Amuma share stories from her past and all the things Amuma had said and done that kept the family apart for a long time.
Aunty Asha (Small Amuma's daughter) moved to Tempah, Florida, a long time ago and even though she visits Singapore almost every year, I met her for the first time 2 weeks ago. Which got me thinking just how distant the family must have been for us to not have kept in contact for a good 15 years or so.
Anyway, here's my takeaway:
Some people will never be satisfied with what they have. They will always want more and they will always take for granted what's right in front of them. They will always be unhappy because things never seem to go their way but they will wallow in self-pity in front of others in order to gain their sympathy.
Some people are really two-faced and they will never realize this because part of their nature is to get along with others while ruining the relationships others have without taking any responsibility, even if it means family. And they won't feel any guilt because, well, it's all in their nature.
Therefore, these people will forever be unhappy with their lives and will only find joy in destroying what others have.
But this is reality. I am definitely disappointed and the ploys Amuma played behind our backs, tearing her children's relationship with one another apart while enjoying the whole show. How many years they wasted not talking to one another because of what Amuma told them? Such a pity, really.
Thankfully, we've all grown out of it. I suppose with age, we find how fragile the things we cherish can be and because of that we cherish them even more.
Aunty Usha's passing must have been a wake-up call for everyone but Amuma, who continues to try to distort relationships. Even though there are still unresolved conflicts, and I haven't seen Mamen Vijay ever since Shayne's funeral, I'm still glad most of my family found their our way back to each other.
I think what's important is we protect what we love and not let anyone else try to take that away from us. Things you hear from a third party about someone you love a.k.a gossip can turn relationships sour in a blink of an eye but you should never let what others say cloud your vision of what you hold dear. If you're unsure, talk things out. Confront, take it off your chest and iron things out so that you give no one the authority over your relationships.
"People can have their opinions about everything in the world, but people's opinions end where the tip of my nose begins. Your opinions of others can only go so far as to where their own shoreline is. The world is for your taking, but other people are not." - C. Joybell C.
(Mamen means Uncle, Amuma means Grandmother. Small Amuma refers to my grandma's younger sister, my grandaunt.)
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