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you're doing all these things out of desperation

First, you think the worst is a broken heart.What's gonna kill you is the second part.And the third is when your world splits down the middle.Fourth, you're gonna think you fixed yourself.Fifth, you see them with someone else.And the sixth, is when you admit you may have messed up a little.

Today's #ootd featuring a checkered box top I bought from some retail store at Bugis Junction paired with my all-time favourite trumpet skirt in black from G200. (I bought one in a dark shade of orange because it was on sale.)

Suppose I decided to add a little bit of colour so I wore my Reebok Skyscape and carried my patchwork backpack from Cath Kidston. Also, bun-up hair for the unbearable weather. Sported a cute ribbon hair tie I bought from Helen, which you can't see from here.

When I first donned the whole outfit, I thought somewhere didn't fit. It felt... strange, something just felt so out of place but I couldn't put the word to it so I decided to take the plunge and walk out of the house the way I was.

Fortunately, I began feeling better. I don't know what that rush of insecurity was all about but so glad I managed to be me at the end of the day.




Guess I'll always feel like Little Miss Misfit. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Finally found reason to head out today although I was just running an errand for Mama. Took me less than 2 hours but still felt rather refreshing seeing the outside world after staying home for days.

Thankfully I've scheduled meet-ups in the next 2 days and I cannot be more excited because I'll be meeting people I haven't seen in so, so, so long! Don't wanna jinx myself (if there's even anything to jinx) but tomorrow's meet-up is gonna be extremely meaningful. :')

And the day after I will finally be meeting SJ. Probably didn't hear from her for a couple of months but she's back in Singapore now. What's even better is she's gonna treat me to Kunshibo buffet! Bold because if you guys don't already know, Kushinbo has got one of the best (if not the best) Japanese buffets at reasonable/affordable prices!

For some reason, I don't know why, the outlet at Jurong Point is cheaper.

Anyway, feeling really blessed recently because of all the golden opportunities I received in renewing friendships/strengthening relationships.

Decided to blog about this now since I've got tons of photos up there and that is, a few weeks back I had to make a tough decision about exchange.

I excitedly announced to the world that I will be going on exchange to Ottawa this upcoming semester because I never thought I would have to withdraw so when I did, I didn't know how to break it to the people who asked me about it.

I'm not sad or disappointed. In fact, I feel like things worked out for the better, especially financially. I had to buy a new MacBook because my old one completely died on me. Signed a 12-month instalment plan at zero interest, courtesy of Citibank, and also paid student price for the new MacBook so I'm pretty satisfied but that means 12 months of debts right now.

The family's financial situation is finally stabilising. I honestly hope people don't ask me to go to expensive places for meet-ups or coax me into buying unnecessary things on an impulse because I've to be super, duper careful with my expenses. I expect myself to be working a lot lesser from June to October so please don't tempt me. )':

I'm not upset though. I feel like good things are about to happen and well, good things will happen to those who are patient. Even if I had to forego this valuable chance to immerse myself in a new environment, I believe there'll be other opportunities in future.

Banana and I were talking about our ideal lifestyle. Compared to Singapore, I've always wanted to live a much more relaxed/comfortable life. I mean, I've always had to work hard since I was young -because I was taught my performance would determine my future. But nothing changed over the years and now, entering my third academic year in NTU, I still slog endlessly every semester.

I worry about competition, about whether I'll be able to get a stable job once I graduate but I don't want life to be about 9-5 jobs and overtime. I don't want to burn my evenings the way Mama and the sister do. I want work-life balance but that sounds like a fantasy in Singapore.

Sometimes I just want to leave everything behind; travel some place faraway where no one knows me, get lost in a foreign city, walk into a decent bar and make new friends.
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