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Penultimate year

As the new academic year is about to begin, I logged into my student account to find out what I was in for in the next 14 weeks (including recess week).

Let's begin with the fact that I am very contented with the modules I am taking this semester. I have 4 so far - 2 communication modules, Korean level 3 and a linguistics module (Coping with Cultural Transition) 1 more to register for and that is a humanities module (Logic & Critical Thinking) on Monday. That means I'll be taking 5 in total, which is actually pretty decent for a total of 17 credits.

Truth is, I'm not really expecting anything at the moment. I really won't know what the semester is going to be like until it actually begins. But I took a look at most of the syllabus uploaded on the student site and I swear I am not looking forward to Media Law at all. I can't help it, though, because it is my last core module and I just cannot be more excited for it to be over.

I still really hate the system.

The same tutor who taught us Research Methods are teaching us Media Law (I knew this already) but I didn't know he would adopt the same teaching method! I'm going to pretend I'm okay with weekly quizzes since I've lived through it before and I know it's somewhat manageable but this panelist system is really ridiculous.

Basically, the teacher has a seating plan so he clearly knows who sits where. (This also means we're not allowed to change our seats after the first lecture because it's been decided by the seating plan that for the next 13 weeks, we will sit in the same spot.) Fine with me, I'm not a fan of scurrying for seats especially in such a massive lecture theatre.

Secondly, weekly quizzes. Like I mentioned above, these quizzes are acceptable. They account for a total of 10% of our final grade and the teacher is kind enough to exclude 3 of our lowest score. It all works to our advantage. It's also a good way to judge how familiar I am with the content. I suppose it is a feasible way to force students to be consistent with their revision. We also have 3 midterms (30% each) so we have no final paper. Hurray! Now everything sounds about perfect.

Lastly, panelists? What this refers to is a system of question-and-answer every single lecture. Starting with either the first or last row, the first or last student of the chosen row is given the mic to answer the posed question. The mic is then passed down to the next student, and the next and the next until all the students have had their go within the 13 weeks.

I experienced this 2 semesters ago and I really hated it. I even resorted to skipping the lecture I knew would consist my turn to confront the damned mic. I hate it. I wouldn't hate it as much if every one in the lecture theatre were people I didn't know. But you know how you spent every single day of every semester seeing the same people? There is no way you don't know them. And even if their not your friends, you are still somewhat associated.

I was naive enough to believe it would be easier to make friends when I enter university. Big, big mistake. I now know if you have missed your faculty's orientation camp, the chances of you making new friends is 0.5%. You can sort of imagine the state I am in right now.

Thankfully, I have Mel and Kat. Along the way, I actually managed to make some friends (Hannah & Chow and a couple others) but that's about it?

After spending so many semesters together with the same cohort, even if I've never personally talked to them, it's safe to say we know each other exist.

I know people have this fixed impression of me - the same image I show every day. It's like an image I created to build a wall against these unfriendly/intimidating people, to keep them away from me because I am (honestly) quite delicate and afraid of throwing myself out there. Which is why I would absolutely hate any opportunity for them to hear even my voice, what more my opinion.

I am proud of my opinions. I mean, it's part of me and I'm not afraid to show that. I'm just afraid of showing them the side of me that's different from their already-made impression.

But I am aware some people just don't care.


Maybe I'm over-thinking all of this? :'(


Well, good luck Smi. With the new academic year comes new challenges (as cheesy as this sounds) so I'm going to need all the luck I need. I will also need courage to confront every single day and all the strength to drag myself out of bed/house every day.

Sigh, I am such a needy person.

Anyway, check back for my review on @kittyondeck should you be interested!
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