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Tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace

Beginning today's post with one of my favourite lines from Coldplay's Fix You.

This song came to me when I was going through a rather emotional period just days ago and I think it was sort of salvation in disguise.

I actually drafted a really long (and sad) post but it remains a draft because I feel insecure about sharing something so very personal online. In other words, I don't want people to think I'm trying to seek attention by airing my sad stories out here so I've decided that post shall remain a draft for as long as I deem fit.

Nonetheless, it's been one crazy week.

I haven't felt this tired in a while. I don't know if its a good thing I'm so occupied or if its a bad thing I'm overworking myself. Either way, I'm tired, really tired.

Sunday ended off on a rather bad note.

That night, I realised how small and powerless I am. It was easy for me to admit how helpless I was in that situation but despite so, I was honestly scared.

I usually handle fear well. I have never resorted to turning to others at 2AM in the morning because I needed comfort but that night, I really did. I wanted someone to turn to, someone to fall back on as I bawled my eyes out. And, well, although I could find no one, at least Shelty was around. :')

I was so out of it the next couple of days.

Forced myself out of bed on the Monday morning because I couldn't afford to miss my midterm. Even though I was half-distracted, half-uninterested, I still pulled through somehow.

All the time after that, I spent at the hospital.

Tuesday morning, I woke up and told myself I couldn't go on like this.

It's a miracle but I managed to catch up with my readings for a certain module. I felt exceptionally accomplished that day.

The rest of the time, I was at the hospital again.

But things took a turn for the better and I'm very, very grateful.

I wish I could say things went back to normal on Wednesday but after experiencing what I did, I can say for sure things will never be the same again. But, I emerged stronger and wiser than I was and I will take this lesson seriously and forever remember what it felt. 

I was in school early on Wednesday because Melly offered to teach me what I missed during Korean class on Monday. (If you're reading this, thanks Melly!) Kat was also in school but she had class an hour earlier than us so Melly and I went for lunch when Kat left.

(Can't mention this here but Melly knows what happened. It was... weird? I've to keep reminding myself to stop thinking about it.)

Thursday was equally weird in the same sense.

Grace and I skipped lecture that morning and headed to Macs for lunch. I walked back to school to look for Chow but ended up sitting at the bench alone as Chow couldn't stand the heat (I can't stand cold). In the end, I forced Melly to accompany me.

I skipped tutorial as well... but just before Korean class, Melly and I headed to the canteen to grab a bite.

Thursday ended late as usual. I wasn't home until half past 8 maybe but I was glad to be home. :')

I went to sign my contract with my intern company on Friday and met Abi on the way back because we had to do some serious work. She came over to my place and for 4 hours straight, we focused on our research paper.

When she left, I prepared for this morning's class and basically, that was it.

After work this morning, I rushed home and began watching the lecture videos for my online module. About half past 4, I received a message from Val (the SOSD volunteer), informing me Nova had passed away due to canine distemper. I was advised to get Shelty checked which we did, immediately.

Called for a pet taxi, walked into ARVC and got his blood test done. Thankfully, he came out negative for canine distemper so my big baby is a healthy baby. :')


Came home and realised I haven't updated in a while. But I'm really tired right now. It's unfortunate but I'll have to watch some more lecture videos before I can call it a night.
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