No matter what they say, I'm gonna hold you close

I remember

It's Sunday night all over again. I can hear slight drizzle against the window panes and I'm watching the lights on the other building go out. People must be heading to bed and I wonder: Do they dread waking up to Monday? Do they hate Monday? Do their bodies feel unusually heavy on Monday mornings? Do they drag their feet into office? It was a surprisingly tough day today. But it reminded me of the conversations I had with Ains. " You're really too nice. That's why people always bully you, " she said. I knew this for a long time but I was thinking of the best way to construe my personality without sounding like a pushover because I'm not. I simply developed a sizable threshold for bullshit over the years. I suppose it is my way of maintaining zen and a passive way to show I'm backing down because I believe there's no reason putting up a fight against anyone who has decided not to give me a real chance even before the argument began. To some, when I...

You learn to live with your crazy

I'm crazy, just slightly crazy. I'm crazy but maybe I'm not crazy after all? I say the most bizarre things. I walk around with messy hair. I dress down on Mondays and dress up on Fridays. I talk shit with and to my friends. I stuff my face into Shelty’s belly every night. I have a weird obsession with stickers and clouds. I love walking around bare-footed. I love wearing my pyjamas. I love long walks, especially the ones that could last for hours. I love rolling in bed on Saturday nights while every one else is out. I’m strange like that. Which makes me feel like a misfit in this society that’s all about fitting in. I don’t depend on technology even though I use an iPhone 6: I keep a handwritten diary, I write letters, I record my daily expenditure, I take notes with a pen and paper, I print my readings if possible, I use highlighters and liquid paper, and the list could go on. Yet I depend on technology at the same time: I scroll through Instagram every mo...

2021

Hello, 2022. Traditionally, this post would have been published on the last day of the year (as a reflection of some sorts) or the first day of the new year (to set out some new goals). But I had spent the last 2 days surrounded by good people and would not have it any other day. But here we are – second day into the new year and back to work when Monday comes around again. Sometimes, it feels like a lot has changed yet nothing has really changed at all. All things considered, 2021 was not the best year but it was a good year. I felt like I had truly stepped into the world of adulting. This came in the form of looking after my family, including doggo, navigating the corporate world, and getting my act together for the most part. Summing up 2021: Full-time adult, part-time child There is so much subliminal messaging out there that tells us we have to be at a certain point in our life by the time we reach a certain age. And growing up in a society constantly reminded me I...

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