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These days have been so, so tough and I'm not even kidding.

The last one week has been so stressful I was this close to breaking down.

Six weeks into internship and it's evident that everyone wants a piece of me but no one actually genuinely cares about my well-being.

But in the end, I am but an intern so it's probably understandable why I'm somewhat responsible for lessening the burdens of the other editors.

And then there are times when I feel like I'm not part of this family simply because I'm not providing for myself.

I'm turning 22 this year but I still feel like 2 to my family.

I can't even decide what I want to wear for Chinese New Year because what I want to wear is 1) too inauspicious according to my mom and so 2) my mom doesn't like it.

I went on a journey to find the right top to match my skirt but everything was done in such a haste that I now not only dislike that damned skirt, I also don't intend to wear it anymore.

These little things really get to me.

I don't deny shopping a lot. I do but that's not something that should be used against me.

Why should it be, anyway, if I'm paying out of my own pocket?

But these are fleeting moments in life when I momentarily get so caught up with so many emotions that I continuously think negative and let those emotions eat me up inside before I snap myself back to reality and make an effort to ban those mini-Smis in my head from taking over.

It's all good, it's all good.

This week is a short week and I can't wait to celebrate Chinese New Year - the same old steamboat + teppanyaki reunion dinner, the same old card games as we count down to midnight, the same old faces and the same old comforting joy. Only that everyone's growing older and it's evident in our faces.

I still love my job and my family very much. 🙆

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