Too young to teach?

Yesterday morning, as I was preparing the class to begin on their SA2 revision, I gave them 5 minutes to go through the questions and ask me for the definition of any word.

Unsurprisingly, the kids started flipping through their papers relentlessly and bombarded me with as many words as they could.

I explained most words off memory - queasy, vast, monotonous, etc - but then came the words gosling and fledgling, which I didn't know the meanings to. So I whipped out my dictionary, like I always do when I encounter an unfamiliar word, and searched for the meanings when one of my students commented: "Teacher don't know because teacher too young to teach."

And I thought to myself: Am I?

~~~~~~~~~~

I've been teaching since I completed my A levels in 2011.

I signed up at various online private tuition agencies and took up assignments that were within my capabilities.

My first student was a Sec 3 boy whose parents had forced him to enter the Express stream because they believed that would be better. They couldn't be more wrong. The child was struggling to meet the minimum requirement to promote to the next level. His English was so bad I had to hand-hold him through all the exercises we did. I taught him the same way I teach my current P4s.

My next student was a Primary 5 girl who came to my house once a week for English and Math tuition. This assignment was offered to me by a mutual friend, or what we'd normally call lobang. Our weekly sessions lasted 3, sometimes 4 hours and I taught her all the way till she completed her PSLE. I felt like a proud mother when her mother thanked me for teaching her daughter and helping her score A and B for Math and English respectively.

My final student was a Sec 4 girl whom I got to know through another lobang. She's my hairdresser's daughter and I only taught her for a couple of months before her O levels. I taught her both E and A Math but she dropped the latter nearing her examinations because she was so stressed and lacked the confidence to do it. I was never super strict with her but our lessons were mostly intense revision. She would choose the topic she wanted to cover for that lesson and I'd pick out the questions for her to attempt while guiding her whenever she got stuck. Can I just add she also scored an A1 for E Math?

After that, I stopped teaching private tuition simply because I was working full-time at the tuition centre and they had offered me opportunities to relief teach.

I was very new to the teaching environment then and was not used to managing a class on my own. The class size varied between 4 students to sometimes as big a class as 18!

Every class I taught was different - we had to obedient, diligent ones and the not-so-obedient-and-diligent ones. Some students would intentionally wreck havoc just because I was a relief teacher! But I was excited to teach, to enter a classroom and to meet the students even though I know somewhere someone would potentially try to stir shit in class.

The more I taught, the more confident I became. And the more confident I became, the more I enjoyed teaching.

But there were the downsides, of course.

At the centre, everyone knows who I am. The students, parents and teachers recognise me as the girl-who-works-at-the-counter. I was everyone's lackey or what my friends would say sai kang warrior. I printed worksheets, answered phone calls, collected payment - that was my job scope before I began relief teaching. I built rapport with everyone that even Chup said I probably knew our clients more than she did even though I joined later.

Every one was my friend and I was everyone's friend too so when I enter class as a teacher, none of the students treat me seriously. When I head to other branches to relief, I sometimes relief the same classes I did before and the students already know who I am so, once again, they don't treat me seriously. Although the one thing I'm really thankful for is the majority of these students actually still show me some form of respect and do their work, there are others who completely flip the table and ignore my entire presence in class.

I remember a period of time I dreaded relief teaching because I felt so useless and small in front of the students.

~~~~~~~~~~

Four years on, I've taught numerous classes from Primary 1 all the way to Sec 4. I don't think I've missed a single level but it really is different having your own class.

With my own class, the responsibility I feel is on an entirely different level.

I don't necessarily aspire to be a know-it-all to my students. In fact, there are times I tell students they cannot expect me to know all the answers because that's just not how it works. Of course, the children probably don't understand them but I make it a point to let them know anyway.

When one of them casually remarked I was too young to be a teacher, I actually wondered if I really was. I'm 22, with 4 years of teaching experience under my belt - am I too young to teach?

Maybe.

At some point, I, too, might have considered myself too young to be a teacher. How can I be responsible for my own class of students when all this while, I was someone else's responsibility (or liability as my mom would say)? But I did.

I became a teacher and I took up the responsibility willingly. What propelled me initially might have been the incentive of a steady income but now? Now I go to class with a whole new perspective.

Every week, the students test my limits and I realise I have so much more patience than I thought I ever did. Every week, the students make me so happy with the little things they share with me and even their Cher, _ beat me! complains. Every week, the students surprise me with their diligence and their enthusiasm. I'm motivated. There's just no way I can't be!

I have never once considered teaching to be my full-time job but when I always thought of it as a way to give back to the society after I retire. This was something I aimed to be some 30 years later but the chance came to me much earlier than I prepared myself for.

Am I too young to teach?

No, I don't think so anymore.